Adventures in Defecation

Human beings have a lot of things in common. We all breathe. We all eat. We all excrete. And because of that there’s no reason why anyone should act all high and mighty. I mean, if someone at the bank is giving you trash or someone is being a jerk, you should just bust out something like this: “What’s your problem? You’re not any better than me. I know that you go grocery shopping like I do. I know you take a dump just like I do! You wipe; I wipe! Get over yourself!”

This also put a whole new spin on rolling a house. When you get back at an authority figure by strewing toilet paper all over his or her premises, you’re really just reminding him or her of the equality you have. They think that being a teacher or a professor makes them the poop, but it doesn’t. Rolling then is a kind of social protest.

This is one of those things that’s true but no-one ever talks about it. Biology (specifically defecation) could be one of the long-unmentioned undergirding rationales of freedom! (Wow. I wonder if I should look into writing political science books — I’m almost convincing myself here!)

Ok, this is not poop-related (I love that — it sounds so gangster!) but I had to just vent for a bit. I’m working on ping stuff for the site so everybody knows where the good poop is. Heh. The problem? Just about all the major ping sites are broken! Out of all the ones I’ve tried, only a handful really work — Blo.gs and Technorati. The others are either stagnant (Feedster), add only the first post (Icerocket), or just ignore all the pings I send them. I’m like — what the hey? Why do they even exist, I wonder. It can’t be cheap to have a site that crawls the web and gets mad traffic like they do. Given that the web is always changing, what’s the point in only indexing stuff from say, last year? Pretty soon your value and utility sink like a rock. In the meantime, you’re losing money because people find out that your service ain’t no good. That again begs the question — “Why set up a ping service in the first place if you’re not committed to it?” Guys, either fix your poop or flush yourselves!