Adventures in Defecation

One of the lamer jokes I’ve created goes like this:

Q: How do you know a whale is in the area?
A: You find a lot of sea doo.

That got me thinking, though. Why doesn’t anyone ever see or even talk about sea doo? (No, not that Seadoo!) With creatures as large as whales and sharks roaming the oceans (not to mention squid), this could be a real source of environmental pollution, not to mention general nastiness. What if you went deep-sea fishing and hauled up a turd?

Then again, maybe the ocean just breaks down these animal excretions, or maybe they’re heavier than water, so they settle on the ocean floor. That reminds me of the deep-sea explorers. Can you imagine? You’ve spent years of research and lots of the government’s money to investigate a place like the Marianas trench. You send your very expensive robot explorer down there and all your fellows crowd around the screen. What do you find? Nothing but a bunch of whale turds! Oh, the ignominy! You’d probably have to get a lawmaker to write the findings that time. They waste time and money and turn out poopy laws, so at least they’d be skilled at it.

I’ve created a few cheesy jokes over the years dealing with pee and poop, and here’s one.

A urologist wants to join a practice featuring other specialists to save on insurance and property costs. So he goes to them and they talk about it a while. Things go pretty smoothly and they other doctors say that they’ll have a decision in a few days. The urologist waits and finally one of the doctors comes to him and says, “We all thought about it and decided that it would be good to have you as a member of the practice.”
“So did I make it?” he asked, expectantly.
“Yes,” said the other doctor. “You’re in!”