Adventures in Defecation

Now this was a good month. Without further a-doo, here are the funniest search terms that you (yes you) used to reach AID:

• Adventures of Enema Man — Man oh man. This would make an awesome comic book!
• Bathroom ettiquette – No, it’s not dead! I’m glad that someone else out there understands that there’s a right way and a wrong way to experience the w.c.!
• Color of defecation — I’m thinking album title, how about you?
• Defecation Boy — He could be the side kick for Enema Man!
• Fancy urinals — When money is no object, you’d be surprised at the things you can buy. Of course, they could have meant “urinals for the limp-wristed set”.
• Golden dingleberry — You’d be eating some awfully strange things to get this.
• Marathon toilet paper — Do runners use special toilet paper? Or maybe this is a marathon of using toilet paper?
• Pooing out boogers — There are no words; only a huge grin.
• Sin brag — Huh what?
• Toilet paper hang — Is this anything like the Root Beer Rag?
• Yellow stringy defecation — I wonder if this is related to the golden dingleberry.

One more thing — the huge turds/biggest bladder folks showed up again, as did many searches for urine bubbles. Apparently all our science still can’t resolve the mystery of urine bubbles!

Til next time, poopers and poopettes!

After seeing so many hits on AID for defecation videos and poopmaster vids, I got to thinking. What makes watching someone dump so interesting? We’re not talking sporting events like I’ve discussed here or here. We’re not talking societal revolution. We’re talking about that slimy, pimply-boy, greasy-hairdo, moist-hand desire to peek through a hole and watch someone sweat and strain. You know, the kind of thing that pervy jr. high boys whisper to each other between rounds of getting beat up by the math nerds and the book clique?

It’s either that or it’s the rise in the voyeur culture. What, with traffic lights that take your picture and RFID passports, I guess everyone wants in on the act. It’s secret. It’s daring and kind of dangerous. Maybe you’ll even see something! (Never mind that those holes never let you see very much. Trust me.) But even that doesn’t make any sense, because whom do you tell? You sure can’t tell your friends if you want to keep them. Where’s the peer group? Is there such a thing as Voyeurs Anonymous, where people confess they have a bad habit of watching other people do stuff? Maybe there’s even grocery pervs who hang out and watch women pick up fruits and vegetables. Or wannabe waiters who lurk around bars all day watching how the wait staff does their thing and then grading them on it. Sure, this is getting a little far afield from adventures in defecation, but it’s all the same kind of disease. Maybe they all hang out at VA meetings but secretly despise each other and know that the other group is the one with the real problem. “I’m fine,” everyone is thinking. “I’m just coming because the doctor told me to. Those others guys are really messed up, though!”

I suppose the whole virtual aspect of the internet thing feeds it as well. Why go to Rome if you can surf there? It’s cheap, easy, and a lot less hassle. Why bother going out on a date when you can just IM a chick for a few hours? Hey, why bother hanging out in a stall and watching someone else take a dump for real when you can just snag a video or two, right? Besides if you’re in the stall you can’t hang out there forever, and you have to pretend-poop or your cover would be blown. And the smell? Yeah, even fancy bathrooms smell right after someone expels some methane. Defecation videos are just flat-out easier. Besides that, you might go your whole life and never get the chance to see an Italian midget poop. Defecation videos help you experience the whole universe of the bizarre without having to wait on fortune’s hand or buy your own bathroom company and install spy cams.

I guess everyone likes to do some strange things, but this takes the cake!