Adventures in Defecation

Have you ever thought that it would be cool to sleep naked? It’s something that’s probably been on the mind of most of us ever since we were kids. It’s oh-so-rebellious to refuse to put on the PJs and just go to bed au naturale. However, you may not want to live out that youthful fantasy, and here’s why. Sleeping without clothes puts your butt in direct contact with your sheets. That leads to two problems: skid marks and dingleberries. That’s right! You might wake up to find a horrendous brown stain where you had been sleeping. Or worse, you could be rearranging your covers and find dingleberries rolling around in your bed! They make PJs for a reason. And if you’re too cheap to buy PJs, at least wear some undies. After all, crackers in bed is one thing, but dingleberries are something else entirely.

I’m not making this one up (and with that intro, you know it’s got to be good!) — you can now buy a pill that turns your turds gold. How’s that? The pill itself is filled with gold dust, and so when you eat it, what comes out the other end is pure gold. Well, almost. It’s at least some percent gold. The kicker? A bottle of the these pills costs $425.

Check out the story on Dvice.

(Note: Unlike the original article writer, I’m not afraid to solicit pictures. If anyone can prove that these pills erm work, send me pics. Thanks!)