Adventures in Defecation

Today I was talking to one of my coworkers who is having garbage issues. The cleaning crew won’t empty her wastebasket! I’m like, “No way!” She said that if these people are the same people who clean the girls’ bathrooms, that she doesn’t understand what their problem is. She said that there’s stuff in there that she wouldn’t touch even at home! I laughed and decided not to press for details.

This goes to show you that while the sexes are equal, they are certainly different. My bathroom is messy, maybe occasionally scuzzy, but never gross. Girls’ bathrooms apparently contain all sorts of gross things. And they’re unhappy with us guys when we leave the seat up?

I was emailing someone the other day and I was discussing the concept of a “permanent girlfriend” as opposed to a wife, and I was listing out reasons. I think I’ve found another one — to avoid the curse of the girls’ gross bathrooms!

Where I used to work, a large open area housed most of the worker bees. A bathroom was located nearby, but it was not the usual sex-segregated bathroom. It was large enough for two people and in practice, that meant one person and that you knocked. Just about everyone did, except for her.

She was one of those people who know that they’re fine and has the attitude that goes with it. Mix in a strong tomboy streak and that spelled one thing — trouble. This chick would walk in the bathroom without knocking, without asking the gender of the person inside, or anything of the sort! One time one of the guys was doing his “stand and deliver” when she walked in. He was so surprised that he basically painted the wall yellow in surprise while desperately trying to zip up.

When I first heard the story, I was blown away. I mean, there are some things you never do, no matter how fine you are! You never, ever walk in on the other gender in the bathroom!