AID #199: My Crack is Cleaner Than Your Crack!
The title of today’s AID is one you’ll never hear shouted on playgrounds, as sing-songy as it may be. No, it’s my own personal declaration to the world. I suppose that when it comes to bathroom hygiene, some of us are more, well, anal-retentive than others. Me, I never have to worry about skid marks in my underwear. I find the very prospect gross beyond words. I mean, think about it! Here you are, sitting in your drawers all day, with lines of your own feces staining your clothes! And you know that you can feel it. Ewwww.
I never have to worry about skid marks (except when I’m feeling quite diarrheic). Why? I make sure that my crack is clean. Now I’m not talking using expensive chemicals or weird products, but just using more TP than the average wiper. Because I do this regularly, I can feel safe and secure about the cleanliness of my crack. I could even brag about it. In fact, I bet that my crack is cleaner than yours, and anyone else’s within a fifty-mile radius. In fact, outside some disgusting industries which I won’t name, I bet that I have the cleanest crack in my whole state. Sure, some drug dealers may argue with me by playing semantic games like, “What defines crack?”, but I ain’t got time for none of that nonsense, especially when there’s some anal cleaning to be done.
