Adventures in Defecation

They have scales for everything, from “how Irish are you” to “how much of an geek god are you”. They even have a scale for poop, and apparently it’s been around a while. Who knew? When I was sick and hanging out in the cold, white, doctor’s office waiting for the doc to show up, I noticed this scale on the wall. It was the Bristol Stool scale. One of my friends took a pic of it, but I’ve had all kinds of problem getting from her phone to my PDA to my computer, so you’ll just have to settle for a stock photo.

Those kids in Bristol, they are sharp as a pistol, aren’t they?

Today, I did a brave thing. A thing so brave that I had to write about it and tell the world. Today, I peed in the ghost urinal.

Now some of you may not be familiar with haunted bathrooms, or ghost urinals, so let me fill you in. A ghost urinal is a specific urinal that has been possessed by fell spirits, so that it continually runs. Yes, it could be poor plumbing or testing, but why settle for boring explanations? When I entered the w.c., I saw that the ghost urinal was active once more. I bravely strutted over to its perpetually-flushing self. I moseyed up to it like a horse moseys up to a water trough and took a whiz.

The water gave off this strange kind of heat, but I didn’t let that stop me. I let it all go and I didn’t have to flush. Bonus! My urine disappeared mighty fast, too. But as I walked away, I could have sworn the thing was flushing faster and louder than before. I washed my hands and made a speedy exit.

Even if you don’t believe in the supernatural, that was still semi-freaky.