Adventures in Defecation

Yes, I know that this may be old news by now, but if you haven’t ever seen the first Bumfights movie, by all means, see it. It has one of the most hilarious defecation scenes ever. This guy called “Bling Bling” takes a dump right in the street. With the cameras rolling. No, I’m not kidding! Of course, the guy is a total crackhead and crack dealer, and as a result, his poop is really stringy and liquid, but I’m not sure where else you get to see something as kewl as that. Thinking more about it, his poop looks like he’s got a bad case of diarrhea going on. And that’s another reason to not do drugs. Hey, if you don’t care that it messes up your mind, or messes up your body, then at least care about what it does to your turds!

I think I first heard of the band Anal Blast in the mosher’s delight magazine, The Pit. I just about died laughing when I read their name. I thought that I had found kindred spirits who sung about the other F-word. I was hoping for song after song about stinky methane expulsions. But no, of course, the band has to take themselves seriously, look tough, and sing songs about uhm…nasty stuff. Wow, guys, like that hasn’t been done a zillion times already. (Hello Pungent Stench, Ordo Rosarius Equilibrius, et cetera, ad total nauseum!) On the bright side that still leaves room for the band I want to make someday — Hello Smello. You can’t have the name because I have songs ready, and one of them is the all time doom-comedy classic, “Poop From the Sky”.